


American Politics

by KaytheJay



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: American Politics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:47:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27307951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytheJay/pseuds/KaytheJay
Summary: Aziraphale catches up on what is going on in America and notices just how dire of a situation it is.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 7





	American Politics

**Author's Note:**

> I know this fic is probably for a *very* niche audience. But it's whatever. I'm terrified of this election and what four more years of Trump could mean for me, and if I want to project a little bit onto my favorite characters then so be it. 
> 
> Anyway, this is probably going to be the last fic until December. I do have all of my prompts lined up for my 25-day countdown for Christmas. All that is left to do with them is to write them and maybe read the NaNoWriMo goal (though my bigger goal with NaNo is to get the 25 fics done, which can be done, I think). However, I am always open for prompts if you have any requests for anything. Leave them in the comments. Even if I don't reply, I promise I will see it. However, these 25 fics are going to be the last 25 fics of 2020, so your request most likely will not be posted until early 2021. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy my little fic here!

“Dear, I’ve just caught up with the American politics,” Aziraphale said while looking at his phone. He shook his head. “This isn’t  _ your _ demonic work, is it?” Crowley came into the living room and leaned against the doorframe and stared at the angel. Aziraphale looked up. Realizing that the question was serious, Crowley sighed. 

“American politics has always been messy. Trying to keep up with them is always a mess. But no. It has nothing to do with me. Americans are just that stupid. Why? What’s up?” Aziraphale pulled up a news article to show the demon. Crowley walked across the room and took the phone. He laughed. 

“Donald Trump  _ actually  _ won in 2016?  _ How  _ did the Americans elect  _ that  _ twat? Are they trying to run a country over there? Good lord someone needs to help them.” Crowley shook his head. “I may have been a demon once but I would  _ never  _ influence an election like  _ this. _ ” Crowley laughed again. “Those poor bastards. Though I really can’t say that because they  _ did  _ do this to themselves.” He handed Aziraphale’s phone back to him. 

“Are you sure?” Aziraphale asked. “This does look like something your lot would have something to do with.” Crowley rolled his eyes. 

“If Hell has anything to do with American politics, it doesn’t and never has involved me. I suppose it would make sense though. Lots of things would make more sense if Hell was involved.” He shrugged. 

“Indeed,” Aziraphale replied, his eyes glued to his phone, suddenly very interested in the fact that the Americans were having to choose between  _ Joe Biden  _ and  _ Donald Trump _ . Neither seemed to him to be good candidates. He shook his head. “Surely humans aren’t this stupid on their own?” Aziraphale whispered, not meaning to. Crowley shrugged.

“The Australians once had a war with emus and  _ lost _ . I wouldn’t put it past the Americans to be just as bad.” 

“Well, that’s just fighting with nature. You’re  _ going  _ to lose that battle. This is politics, nothing to do with nature.” Aziraphale sighed. “Why do the self-proclaimed Trump supporters use All Lives Matter to refute the Black Lives Matter protests? I have looked at some of what Trump has done, and it seems to me that the president doesn’t really have a care in his body for  _ anyone _ , much less those dear black Americans.” Aziraphale shook his head. “Why did race become such a big thing anyway? They’re all just people.”

“I don’t know, angel. I really don’t know.” Aziraphale huffed. 

“Well, we must do something about it.” 

“You can’t just travel internationally during a global pandemic,” Crowley said. “Not to mention the fact that the United States has the most cases out of anyone.” 

“That’s exactly my point!” Aziraphale exclaimed. “Every other country is getting it under control. Why haven’t the Americans?” Aziraphale shook his head. “Don’t answer that. I know the answer and you know the answer. What I can’t understand is how this stupid man still has people rallying behind him.” 

“Angel-” 

“Crowley, we  _ have  _ to help them. People are dying.” Aziraphale shook his head. “This is so unlike anything I have ever seen before in my life. They seem to think he is some sort of god or something. And I  _ know  _ how the Almighty thinks about false idols.” Crowley sighed and pulled out his own phone.

The situation did seem to be dire. The country was split in half exactly. Neither side was willing to listen to the other. One side was fighting for human rights. The other wanted to stop that for some reason that Crowley could not understand. They were all just people. They should want what’s best for each other. Too bad God had promised not to drown everyone again back in the day. She could take them all out and start the country anew. No problem. She should do it anyway. It isn’t quite like the Americans are doing anyone any good anyway. 

But what were one angel and one demon going to do about it? It wasn’t quite like they could get new candidates on the ballot. The election had already started. People had already begun voting. He had to appreciate how important voting was. 

“Oh dear,” Aziraphale whispered. 

“What? What is it?” 

“They confirmed a woman named Amy Coney Barrett into the supreme court.” Aziraphale shook his head. “I’ve been looking into her and it seems that she shouldn’t be there at all. She even refused to take notes in for her hearing.  _ Notes _ Crowley! And they  _ confirmed  _ her? What were they thinking?” Aziraphale shook his head. “This is not good. Not good at all.” Aziraphale opened the next article with curious horror. “We have to do something.” 

“End the American people?” Crowley offered. “It won’t be easy and certainly can’t be done before the election but-”

“Out of the question,” Aziraphale said. Crowley shrugged. 

“What do you suggest then?” Aziraphale shook his head. 

“A miracle perhaps?” He sighed. “I think the best thing we can do for these people is to make sure this Joe Biden gets elected. He’s not perfect but he’ll have to do.” Aziraphale closed his eyes and shook his head. “Just vote you stupid, stupid Americans,” He whispered. 

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a friendly end reminder, if you are eligible to vote in America in 2020, please do so. This is a *super* important election. No matter how much you think your vote does not matter, *it does.* From this fic, you can *probably* deduce who I hope wins (and by extension, who I have already voted for), but honestly I really don't care who you vote for as long as you vote. I don't want any hypocrites bitching about how the election turned out even though they didn't vote at all. 
> 
> And, as always, hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon and @justademonandtheirangel


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